Waffle My Falafel: A Cautionary Tale

Another Friday night home alone. For some people, the boredom could be stifling. For me, it is a chance to catch up on laundry, clean the litterbox, and most important of all, clean and prep the kitchen for massive weekend destruction!

I did a little shopping at my local food coop after work today. The primary reason being that I needed more lentils. I have been making an awesome lentil salad on a regular basis so my need to restock has been high. I will share my recipe at the end of this post.

Anywho, I came home, put stuff away, (ate another Boca burger with sauerkraut), and stood back to assess my fridge situation. I have a feeling that a lot of vegans do this to make best use of fresh ingredients on hand. There are usually my most costly (not to mention perishable) goods in the kitchen, so extra care is needed to ensure proper usage.

Looking at this picture, you would think that I don't have any actual "food" in the house. Also, I have a really shitty fridge because I rent. I swear there are about 7 packages of tofu in that middle drawer though! Bare fridge aside, there was one thing in there staring me down...

...nestled among the almond milk, soy milk, and carrot juice was this stupid bowl of sprouted chickpeas that has been haunting me all week! I sprouted them a while ago with every intention of snacking on them during the week. They were good, but they just didn't hit the spot for me this time. They are pretty cute with their little curly "tails" though!

Somehow the idea came into my head to make falafel. Even though I've never really cared for it or made it before. There is some spice in it that has never really agreed with me. I decided that it would be good this time because I would be the one controlling what went into it. So I threw these suckers into my Magic Bullet and pulsed them into a gross clumpy mess. I am sure that a food processor would have been the tool of choice here, but I actually do not own one! Soon though. Soon. I really need something between the mini-convenience of the Magic Bullet and the extra-large death machine aka Vita-Mix.

After getting the chickpeas to a workable consistency, I tossed them in a bowl and stirred in some lemon juice, chopped red onions, minced garlic, cumin seeds, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and sea salt.

I know parsley is a main falafel ingredient but you know what? I didn't have any and I think it's gross anyway SO THERE! I had chickpea flour on standby in case the mixture turned out to be too moist, but it wasn't. It wasn't actually a bit on the dry side. Just the excuse I needed to stir in some of my favorite tahini of all time. Falafel blasphemy, I'm sure.

This is seriously the best stuff ever. After stirring in about a tablespoon, my mixture didn't look much different, but it did stick together fairly well went pressed into balls (hehe..balls!). I didn't think it would hold up enough to be fried though. Plus, frying is a very very rare activity in my kitchen. So I turned my oven on and even oiled a cooking sheet when I suddenly struck inspiration: I have a waffle maker!

And not just any waffle maker! A George Foreman waffle maker that I got on clearance at Target for $7 a few months ago! I had only used it once so far (to make waffles of all things) and I was impressed at it's non-stick abilities. Hopefully they would impress me again because I was about to squash some pretty wicked stuff between it. So I balled up my dough and waffled away!
Ladies and gentlemen, this experience has changed my life! Excuse the crappy picture, but they were perfectly crisp on the outside and densely moist in the inside. SO GOOD!

This awesome discovery in waffling got me to thinking: wouldn't this be a great way to make all veggie burgers/patties? Because if you think about it, what is the main problem with making these at home? I know what mine is. They fall apart either while frying them or flipping them over while baking them. Unless you add a boatload of vital wheat gluten, which is not always a bad thing I suppose. But really think about this! With a waffle maker, you can have a doughy or crumbly batter, but it will all stay in the same place while cooking evenly on both sides! I have also been toying with the idea of making pakora in muffin format to avoid frying, but now I am thinking that I will waffle them instead! Long story short, expect more waffle posts!

And oh yeah, I'm not done...as promised, here is my famous lentil salad "recipe". I make this almost every week!

The base of this dish are French lentils. These are super cute little green speckly lentils that I buy in bulk at my coop super cheap. They also have the best flavor of any lentil I have ever tried. You could probably use just about any kind of un-split dried lentil you want. Just boil them up until they are cooked through, but not falling apart and mushy. Try using 2 parts water to 1 part lentils, boil for about 20 minutes, then drain any excess water. I also highly recommend adding some vegetable bullion to the water for extra flavor.

Let the lentils cool for a bit, then toss them in a bowl with sea salt, black pepper, dried thyme, and chopped red onion. The thyme really compliments the earthiness of the lentils, and the onions add an amazing textural dimension, along with a pungency that really brightens things up. But the party doesn't stop there! For a light "dressing", I stir in a dose of red wine vinegar and a big spoonful of good quality whole-grain mustard. This final mixture tastes amazing warm right out of the bowl. It's very hard not to immediately shovel it all into your face! It will keep in the fridge for a few days, getting even better as it "marinates".